Save me

Lately, Im with this urge to end my life,

Do something to stop the pain...

I've been like this for some years now

And even though I fight all these feelings,

They are still here.

This loneliness kills me slowly,

Consumes me, quietly and silently.

I wonder why I feel like this, 

I don't have any big issues or some real problems...

I just feel... empty.

There're little things that let me keep going...

I know what it is, but I'm always in denial,

Don't wanting to be true to myself and admit it.

What makes me get out of bed... I don't know anymore...

I can feel the despair in my heart, in my whole body.

Not even the cold hurt me now, I'm almost there

Almost in the end, I think to myself, still hoping for a salvation.

A little light in this big and dark cave that I'm in.

A hand and a smile to take me out of this hole.

I know I want to get out of here, I just don't know how.

So... help me. Save me. Hear my weeping and my screaming,

Reach to me with the lightness that I need. Help me,

Cause I'n in despair and I don't know how much long I can take.

All this pain is killing me, I'm going under, deeper... 

I just need someone to save me. Please.

By: Skaene

Rip my heart out, make it feel like dust
Scream out as loud as you can, silently
Try reach out your voice to those who can,
just to see how useless it was.

Force yourself to smile, to laugh, to feel
And even though it's hard, you'll do it and
you will keep it going until the end.
There's no way back anymore now.

Put the mask on, a smiley mask, a happy mask
make yourself stronger than anyone else around.
Let's break the world with these hateful, unwanted feelings
'Cause there's not any other options right now.

All I can do now is fight for my own self, for my own heart
Defend my weak and hurt heart, that's all I need to do
Rise up the walls again, make it strong and unbreakable
Hoping that someday, someone will make them fall...

By: Skaene

Pedras, pedragulhos e calhaus.

Não me chateies. Vai-te embora. Desaparece. Não te quero ver, nem ouvir, nem te aturar. Não estou com paciência para as vossas merdas. Tenho mais que fazer. Mais que aturar. Não aguento muito mais. Estou calada á demasiado tempo. Ainda estou á espera do dia que vou explodir e ai quem desaparece sou eu. Por uns dias. Apenas por um dia. Talvez umas horas. Talvez até menos. Mas vou afastar-me, nem que seja por dez minutos. Porque apesar de sentir-me assim, também gosto muito de vocês. E porque gosto de vocês é porque não explodo e não começo a atirar com facas, pedras, pedragulhos, calhaus, paus, ramos, arvores inteiras! Não o faço. Mas também preciso de desabafar.... E nem que seja a escrever, eu hei-de faze-lo. Porque eu não quero estragar o que a nossa amizade é.

Mas ainda estou magoada e espero que compreendam isso (ou pelo menos tentem compreender).

The Last Hour

In the quiet night,
my heart collapses. 
It's too much pain
it can't handle. 

In the darkest hour,
their laughs ecos are too loud.
I wonder if they can hear
the screams my heart makes.

I thought that the night was my friend
How wrong I was...
Now the night is my worse enemy
and I don't know how to deal with it.

Deep in my heart, I know
they are innocent. And I know,
I'm the corrupted one, the stained one.
My deeds are done, my thoughts are dirty.

I'm not proud, nor I am contented with it
this darkness in me is killing me, softly
A slow bane, a sweet poison, a painful virus.
My fake mask is cracking, it will eventually fall.

My soul is stained, dirty, like a piece of mud
I tried cleaning all these dirt of my body, but I can't...
It's deep in my being, I can't get rid of it.
There's nothing I can do now. 
All I can do is wait for the last hour.

By: Skaene

my body is cold

my soul is empty

it cannot feel, cannot heal

all these scars in me

there's a hole, a deep hole

a dark hole that no one ever saw

it's in my heart, it's in my soul

a deep black hole full of sorrow

only i know, these feelings of mine

only i feel this pain in my whole

do not try to understand

you do not know all of my world

you think you're the best

you are so mighty and high

maybe you should look down

i will hope that you fall

like i said, there's a hole, a deep one

only i know these feelings of mine

only i can understand all the sorrow

do not try to understand what you cant

*

there's someone out there

who is just like me, lonely and sad

hoping he's not alone

just like me. just like me.

and that person doesnt know

how i hope we can meet and

share all these sad and lonely feelings

all of our pain, sorrows and fears

thinking 'i'm not alone in this world'

By: Skaene

Muito gostam vocês de falar de mim nas minhas costas enquanto estou a ouvir. É bom julgar os outros não é? Deveriam olhar para o espelho e pensar em vocês e ignorar-me...

O porquê de criar um blog

Nem tudo são rosas e arco-iris e felicidade e unicórnios. Como eu não sou propriamente uma pessoa que não consegue estar (ou fingir?) estar feliz 24/7, preciso de algum sitio onde possa fugir e falar e dizer muita merda. Este é o sitio. É aqui que vou escrever o que penso sobre a minha vida, sobre o mundo e sobre coisas que muitas vezes não consigo falar com outras pessoas.

Odeio:

casais felizes. tsk.