I never, ever expected this to happen. It grew so much in so little time. I've hugged all of this with so much love, so much care... It's hard, to maintain this feeling, to keep going without showing my tears. You know me well now, but you still won't give a little of yourself to me. I still won't show my tears to you either. We can share a bed sometimes and even be intimate with each other and it means so much, but.... there's still so many things to reach... I believe we can do it...

-S.

Even if I care too much, they won't care.
i wanted to be invisible, and invisible I became.
Now I must carry on with my own consequences.
Life's not fair and I should've know that by now.

I guess I'm just silly....

-Skaene

You don't see how she looks to you
how she feels and what she wants.
You don't look in her way, even though
she thinks a lot about you.
There's things in this world that are good
why can you see them....?

What to do? Once, I wanted change, now change has come but I'm not liking it.
Truth be told, I'm not happy. My feelings are confused and I don't know who to trust anymore.
Those people who I called friends, are still my friends. But everything's changed right now,
and we're in different stages, different locations. I've been left out. I feel loneliness.
Maybe I should just ignore everything and just keep living my life, but I just can't.
My friends, those who I though who were my best friends, they're not.
I'm just a girl. Can I just go away from here? Start again? Disappear? ... I wish.
I can't run away. I need to see what's coming and if the right decision is just to ignore it all,
I'll do it. I'll f*cking do it. I'll ignore those who don't deserve my presence.
I'm here, waiting to be a good girl, a good friend, a good everything, but it's not enough.

I'll never be enough.

I've found myself in another world, a world I don't know.
It's strange and weird, but I'm starting to like it.
It's new and unknown, but its a good feeling.
My other world is getting behind, and I can't jump between worlds.
This change that's happening is big and I won't care of the consequences.
There's things bigger than being accepted by a small group of persons,
And I'm ready to go ahead of it. To go further. My time there is over,
I think.

I know, I don't belong there anymore. I feel like a fish out of the water there.
I don't know how will they accept this all or even look at me again.
Maybe they'll just ignore and keep with their lives,
ignoring me, like I always thought that they did.
And the truth is I was gone and mostly no one noticed.
It's sad how things end up.
All I wanted was to be happy, to have a good circle of friends, and a little love,
was it that much to ask? I won't know, I'll just keep with my life, here and now.
Whats in the past is in the past and will stay there!
I won't look behind again. Smile and move on, walk forward, forget the bad moments.
(:

-Skaene

Locked box

I'm here, but no one sees me.
I'm getting numb, with all the emptiness.
It's killing me, I don't know how much I can
take it. It's getting harder, the truth creeps inside
my skin. Like a death wish, it creeps down my
veins. I'm feeling numb, it shouldn't hurt this much.
I feel their eyes on me, I can feel the hate.
Even though I try to ignore it, it's here and
I don't like it. Not even a little.
I've done so bad, so good things, and this is
how I end up. My life is losing it's will and
I don't know where to run to now. I wonder
through this streets, listening to my gods,
to my ghosts, to my devils, my demons.
This is where I should say goodbye
'Cause it's time to leave. I need to go.
I need to let it all go, leave it behind me
Keep going, Strong and Emotionless.
This is how I should be, a locked box.
-Skaene

Letter to someone I know!

Dear friend,
I miss being with you. I miss kissing you on the lips, like we did last month. I miss our strange but funny talks. I must tell you that I love talking with you and that have a huge hole in my heart for knowing that I cannot help you in any way. It breaks my heart knowing that, but still, I'm here and I will always be. I don't want to leave you, so I'll be here, in the shadows!
I need to tell you too, that I just love this tumblr moment we had today. I was so happy with it, and I hope that there's a second and third and another and another moment like this!! I wish I could be with you on the 31th, but I can't and I'm sad about it. Really sad. I'll still send you a text because I know that it will be kind of pointless to call. I'll wish that you stay in my life this year! And this thing that I'm going to say next, is one thing that I shouldn't have done, but it happened and I can't do a thing about it but stay quiet. I fell for you. But I won't tell you. This letter will stay here and you'll never read it, it's better this way. I want to cherish what we have and don't screw it just because I have some feelings. I prefer to stay friend with you than not having your friendship.
Lastly, I really like you, even thought some times I got pissed with you. I still like you, with every flaw that you have!! Those flaws make who you are, so I've learned to like them too.
Thank you for being here with me! <3
Yours,
Skaene