I'm breaking down again. I'm losing myself.

Today, I felt I was empty, nothing inside me... 

I don't want to talk with anyone. All I wanted was to stay in bed.

But I couldn't do it.... 

They didn't let me do it. 

I don't like this. I want to end this...

I really wish I could just do it.

End it. Crush it. Smash it. Destroy it. 

But I can't. I have no strength in me.

I'm hopeless...

Sometimes (most of the times), I wish I was dead.

Just like that... Dead. No breathing. Not living...

I have this wish for seven years.

I'm still here.... Don't know what for.

The pain accumulates and I continue going.

I wonder why I haven't give up yet... 

I want to know. Someone tell me.

Please. Please. Please. Please.

There's no answer.

Like always.

I cry.

S.